Tired of watching travelers to Bangkok being confused, confounded and finally defeated by Bangkok’s BTS system I thought it was time for a guide on how to survive on the BTS, so I have put together a BTS basics guide.

The BTS is a sky train system that runs through the center of Bangkok. There are only two lines so it should not be hard to go wrong, one runs from Mo Chit (closest to the weekend market) and runs to On Nut, the other line runs from National Stadium to Saphan Taksin where it meets the Chao Phraya river. The two lines meet at Siam station. The train operates from 6 a.m. to midnight and is the best way to move around the center of Bangkok and get to or from your hotel.

Rumor has it that there will be many other lines and we all wait patiently for the opening of the airport line just a few years after the airport opened so that we will have more choice than the airport hotel when getting an early flight or on a short stop over.

How to operate – There are two ways to enter the BTS system, one is to have a pre-paid card, useful if you use it every day but more expensive than a single trip ticket which is the other method. To purchase a pre-paid ticket you need to go to the booth next to the entrance barriers and request the number of trips you want, a card next to the window will display the costs and trip numbers. You will then receive a card (an additional 30 or 40 baht) and can immediately use this by sliding it over the reader to the right at the entrance of the barrier. Use the same method to exit. Sadly these cards are not all they should be and will only work 3 out of every 5 times so do feel sympathy for anyone waving their hand over a reader in a futile attempt to get the card reader to work.

The single card can be purchased by either having an unlikely number of 5 and 10 baht coins to put in the machines, generally located in the center of the entrance opposite the barriers, or by approaching a booth and requesting change where you will be given more 5 and 10 baht coins than you thought would ever be useful…and you were right.

Walk back to one of the machines and (this is where it gets complicated) look at the map and find where you want to go, the station will have a number on it from 1-7. This number is the number you press on the machine and it will request a set amount of money. Insert the coins and a ticket will appear. To get additional tickets you need to press the number you require first then insert money, this process has shown itself to be very hard for most newcomers.

Take this card and insert it into the slot next to the barrier, there is a highly camouflaged arrow on the card to show you which way to insert it, try to work this out before attempting all possibilities at the barriers and risk people walking over you. When the machine sucks the card out of your hand it will appear in a slot on top of the barrier, to open the barrier you must remove it from the machine, this may take some practice and you are likely to walk into the barrier at least a few times before getting this procedure correct.

To exit the BTS system you need to insert the card into the barrier where upon it will open, but it will not return your card – remember they are single use cards – you therefore have the choice to stand here waiting for the impossible or walk through, I would suggest the latter.

Dangers – there are several dangers on the BTS system.

Danger 1 – Barriers. These barriers are in fact vicious entities with a hunger for bone, They will at any given opportunity slam together catching the poor unsuspecting victim cruelly in the leg with a surprising amount of force, to avoid this carry bags high so as not to hit the sensors and move quickly, you will notice locals hesitating before stepping quickly through once you have been hit you will understand why.

Danger 2 – Siam station. This is the interchange station where both lines meet and most of the time the trains are timed to turn up at the same time with the effect of a mass crush particularly at rush hour when two fully laden trains will open and people will run from one to the other. There is sadly almost no way to avoid this, but I suggest hiding behind a column until the crush passes and the trains leave and then putting yourself at the front of the line for the next train.

Danger 3 – Standing in front of the doors. On the floor at almost every station are arrows representing where people should stand to enter and exit the train. Standing in the middle of these markings i.e. where the train doors should open, will put you in line to have a throng of people running over you, so to avoid being trampled to death stand to the side of the arrows.

Danger 4 – Body Odor. From time to time you will come across someone with an inordinate amount of body odor. Whilst they will begin to stand away from you as the train gets fuller they would move closer, eventually you will find yourself with your nose pressed firmly against their armpit. There are only two ways to avoid this, one is a swift punch to the ribs which should have them put their arms down and provide some temporary relief, the alternative is to move far away at the first ‘sniff of trouble’.

I hope that this BTS basics guide is useful, and it should be said that there is no better way to move quickly about the center of Bangkok and to get to or from your hotel, with a little preparation you will soon operate this system like an expert.